Saturday, May 14, 2011

Quarter Life Crisis

So here I’m back on the typing pad, insisted by my inner self to write. This chapter of My World is about many things, things that come to your mind in loneliness. As it’s what I feel, what I write. I’m in a place where there’s little or almost no cellular coverage, So I’m away from the wilderness of the internet and the flashy, luring, glittering social networ’king’ status. I’m back to school, writing stuff. It has been a long time I have actually written. Yesterday, while travelling though I remember, I wrote some short poem. And as every time, I don’t remember a word I wrote. It’s done, written, my mind is empty and so am I.

This article seems to be going good way. Well, not moving away from the topic, before I forget what in the first place I was going to write, I begin here.Quarter Life Crisis. A term defined by a close friend of mine. Just as the elders do have their mid-life; 40’s crisis, she explains, we young bloods do face a similar situation. The need to be recognized, have an identity, be known, career issues, lot of stuff that at one time we feel we’re sinking. The earlier we realize we have a boat with a hole or many holes in it, we should learn to swim.

I don’t know where I’m headed to, a shared article or an inspiration or guidance! Well, this is me in crisis! I I’m still trying in vain to connect to the internet, but I guess we’re determined to share some stuff. This is how crazy I’ve become. I keep mumbling in sleep. So much stuff is revolving in my mind. I have got into frenzy! I need a bit of relaxation. I need to complete what’s on my hands and should not take more. But what to do when it falls from the sky?

My crisis: indulging in many things. I’m responsible, trustworthy, confident, possess leadership qualities, I have so much to offer, but these take to the point of no return. I make commitments, start up things but when they pile up all at once, it’s hard. It’s irritating, makes me feel like a loser. I’m trying hard at it, hoping to do well. Just concentrate one thing and stop not till it gets completed. But I get on a high at times. I must be calm, but, I’m a young blood, it should be boiling! Then it can create a change. This is my madness. I have the solution. Know the problem yet I’m lingering in the bad spot. God knows what rescues me now.

But here is why I defend myself: To complete one task, I need to go to several others to gain momentum and resources. That makes me more chaotic. I have a new born company with a direction but no resources. I have one big project to do: my dream machine to build, I’m getting upset over the thought that I lacked the courage to confront my failure, and it’s quite late now. I have to repeat what I already did, and keep doing better at academics. I have to stop my extracurricular, well, that’s what all are saying, but I’m into thoughts of how can I stop doing what I love to. I love to do stuff I love to do. It’s that simple!

I believe that every person gets an equal share of trials and problems, it just in different cases, yet maintained by equilibrium. I guess I’m falling in love too, maybe with a girl I don’t want to be with or with a new kind of a person. I’m practicing almost zero spirituality, trying hard to keep my faith burning, need to be strong again. Freedom is one essential element. We need to be trusted, believed in. We want to do things on our own, fall and learn to pick ourselves up. We need a new world of equality.

The times have changed. It is a quite bitter world now. The fight to be noticed, in turn the anger of people has increased exponentially.

This phase is getting worse. I don’t know what I am going do for the two years of my engineering life. As they say, the years pass soon, but not the days. Days become long and years become short. One thing maybe; Fear. I need freedom. Buzzz.. No more stuff. KISS. Goodbye!

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