Saturday, May 14, 2011


This world is big; large to many of us. People, millions in number spend their times in different circles chasing stuff, doing things they had never thought of, happily or with a responsibility, sadly. There are a hundred or million things a person wishes in this entire lifetime and many go unanswered. The world is a chaos, a systematic chaos. The universe has so many mysteries stuffed in it that it might seem like a seashell at times or an entire sea. The way we look at things, the way they become for us.
The Heart: CST

I’m in this city called Mumbai, for the past few days, and it seems I’ve seen the whole human race. Mumbai, a city of dreams and desires; a city of Gold. It’s like a mother who encompasses every visitor as her child with ease.  This is a complicated as well as a very simple organization. I have in the past few days seen almost every level of this city with my bare eyes, trotted the city roads on foot, bus, autorikshaws, skywalks and I love it. It’s not my first time in this city, I’ve been a regular visitor as a child here, and in the past two years, I’ve been turning up here alone, doing as my heart says, reaching up to the scent of the mist this city offers, and rushing the bloodlines of the city, the Locals.

The city offers no heat, as my homeland does but gives you a holy bath of sweat, which every person in here shares equally. There is no reason I could hate this city for, not even for the pocket picker who robbed my friend in the blink of an eye. These city dwellers thrive on whatever they can think of, from begging, to pocket picking. The city offer space for everyone here. There is crime, but not because of some mischief, but in the race to survive. In the matter to live life, one way or the other.

I have lived in areas, high and low, every other day, JJ Hospital’s secure and lonely fortress, Thane’s high rise building apartments, Andheri’s skyscrapers, King’s Circle’s Central Government flats, and even Navi Mumbai’s bungalows. I came here for automobile parts, cheap ones for a project of mine.  I travelled unknown paths moving in locals, busses, air conditioned ones, sitting on the floor to the double Decker ones. Not forgetting the two toned taxis and rickshaws which cost me fortune. Treading all the three system mainlines, the Harbour, Central and the Western, the path was one great memory. People coming in and out like animals in a barn, stuffing the big metal boxes to carry them to their loved ones, this is a regular scenario in the city hub. But once you get a chance to take your head out of the silent rowers and you feel a touch of divinity, forgetting the pain and the filth in the air, you feel a gust of wind throwing itself on you all the time and the sweat is washed away. It doesn’t matter then who is to your right or left or who is thinking what, it’s just you and you alone. Lost in the air.

The ride is not always the same. Oohs wait here. Whom am I writing this to? The people of Mumbai? What’s new here? You experience this all the life. But this is not just to the Mumbaikars, the jumbled up mess of people from all the parts of the country who come here with a hope in their hearts to write a page of destiny or let the destiny open up a page for them. This city never disappoints anyone; no one goes empty handed from here. The city holds all her children near, so this is not to the Mumbaikars alone, but to the whole world.

I have seen the faces of the most privileged people getting out from their fancy cars into the huge air conditioned malls, but with a tinge of disappointments, even tears in the fluffy couch of the CafĂ© Coffee Day to the small children beside the police bogies under the bridges with a carefree soul. Happiness is what we create for ourselves. I’ve heard of lovers getting cozy in their homes from a sneaker in the opposite high rise to watching couples intimately kissing under the shadows of the rocks at the beach. Caught a look at young foreigners basking in the evening sun and seen grandparents discussing life with their children’s heirs.  This city has it all; Ambani, to ShahRukh Khan to some Hameed Bhai selling auto parts, and a Sultan serving coffee at the great Ataria Mall. People are being looted over the name of jobs, while the crying ones with lost wallets enjoy the cool air at Mc Donald’s.

This city loves everyone. And so this is a small story. A little part of what I felt. Salutations to the spirit of Mumbai!

Quarter Life Crisis

So here I’m back on the typing pad, insisted by my inner self to write. This chapter of My World is about many things, things that come to your mind in loneliness. As it’s what I feel, what I write. I’m in a place where there’s little or almost no cellular coverage, So I’m away from the wilderness of the internet and the flashy, luring, glittering social networ’king’ status. I’m back to school, writing stuff. It has been a long time I have actually written. Yesterday, while travelling though I remember, I wrote some short poem. And as every time, I don’t remember a word I wrote. It’s done, written, my mind is empty and so am I.

This article seems to be going good way. Well, not moving away from the topic, before I forget what in the first place I was going to write, I begin here.Quarter Life Crisis. A term defined by a close friend of mine. Just as the elders do have their mid-life; 40’s crisis, she explains, we young bloods do face a similar situation. The need to be recognized, have an identity, be known, career issues, lot of stuff that at one time we feel we’re sinking. The earlier we realize we have a boat with a hole or many holes in it, we should learn to swim.

I don’t know where I’m headed to, a shared article or an inspiration or guidance! Well, this is me in crisis! I I’m still trying in vain to connect to the internet, but I guess we’re determined to share some stuff. This is how crazy I’ve become. I keep mumbling in sleep. So much stuff is revolving in my mind. I have got into frenzy! I need a bit of relaxation. I need to complete what’s on my hands and should not take more. But what to do when it falls from the sky?

My crisis: indulging in many things. I’m responsible, trustworthy, confident, possess leadership qualities, I have so much to offer, but these take to the point of no return. I make commitments, start up things but when they pile up all at once, it’s hard. It’s irritating, makes me feel like a loser. I’m trying hard at it, hoping to do well. Just concentrate one thing and stop not till it gets completed. But I get on a high at times. I must be calm, but, I’m a young blood, it should be boiling! Then it can create a change. This is my madness. I have the solution. Know the problem yet I’m lingering in the bad spot. God knows what rescues me now.

But here is why I defend myself: To complete one task, I need to go to several others to gain momentum and resources. That makes me more chaotic. I have a new born company with a direction but no resources. I have one big project to do: my dream machine to build, I’m getting upset over the thought that I lacked the courage to confront my failure, and it’s quite late now. I have to repeat what I already did, and keep doing better at academics. I have to stop my extracurricular, well, that’s what all are saying, but I’m into thoughts of how can I stop doing what I love to. I love to do stuff I love to do. It’s that simple!

I believe that every person gets an equal share of trials and problems, it just in different cases, yet maintained by equilibrium. I guess I’m falling in love too, maybe with a girl I don’t want to be with or with a new kind of a person. I’m practicing almost zero spirituality, trying hard to keep my faith burning, need to be strong again. Freedom is one essential element. We need to be trusted, believed in. We want to do things on our own, fall and learn to pick ourselves up. We need a new world of equality.

The times have changed. It is a quite bitter world now. The fight to be noticed, in turn the anger of people has increased exponentially.

This phase is getting worse. I don’t know what I am going do for the two years of my engineering life. As they say, the years pass soon, but not the days. Days become long and years become short. One thing maybe; Fear. I need freedom. Buzzz.. No more stuff. KISS. Goodbye!