24 and Schrödinger's Cat

This is a well delayed birthday post if you want to consider it so. Also thinking to move the blog to some other platform. Suggestions? So here it goes. I did turn 24 recently. It was an earthquake in life. I still feel like I was just 18 yesterday. Life’s accelerated too fast. Coming to a junction when some important decisions need to be taken care of.  

  

Being 24 is scary. There are major, life changing decisions to take care of. Being an entrepreneur for the past 3 years has fucked up life real bad. I'm tired of the this shit. I'm tired of being the one people look up to. Its exhausting.

There is a major push from the family to find a settled life. While everyone around is growing, I feel stuck up in one place. Maybe its just my frame of relative thoughts, from a different frame of reference, it might be the life to die for. When I look at myself when I'm around a bunch of people, its a celebrity feeling. My name precedes my presence. Its an amazing feeling. The life on stage is something people crave for. But to tell you the reality, its an emotional, mental, physical roller coaster ride. It has its several negative aspects which I don't want to get started with. 

I believe in myself. That's my strongest suit. I don't possess any special talents or skills, somehow things just worked out for me. That's the part I live about life - Uncertainty. Its impossible to predict the future, as one single tiny event can change the course entirely. Life is awesome - if you let it be so. One of the reasons there is a positive aura around me is I've been through several failures, and I'm not afraid anymore. I know I will rise no matter how deep I fall.

Talking about Schrödinger's Cat - one thing I've witnessed is we hesitate to take a risk, we try to calculate every step. But eventually, unless you step in to a situation, you are a winner and a loser both. The only way to test it is to be there. It will cost time, money, and a few resources too. Let's stay on the hopeful side and take a chance. Take that plunge. 

Being 24 means you gotta be earning at least bronze if not gold. If you carry that entrepreneur tag means you gotta be the next Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs. I'm not saying its not possible, but why imitate let's be %firstname% %lastname% - You! I'm on my path, a lot of thorns in the way but another thing I believe in - This too shall pass. 

Oh and I forgot Love! If you are a woman, would you love to be seen with a person who is 24 and still figuring out life? I've got a deep dark path ahead of me which will unfold as I step into it. The success rate is a mere 10%. I'm a workaholic and hardly have time forfamily. In a world where success is measured by money and fame, its hard to find someone who looks deeper. 

The biggest question everyone around me is facing is called - What's next? Well I don't know and I'm pretty sure even you don't have a bloddy idea. I'm a person who tends to enjoy the current and let the next take care of itself. Who is it going to listen to anyway?

The Bible quotes; "I have plans to prosper you not to harm or destroy but give a hope and a future, says The Lord." I'm a believer, and several testimonials to back this. I know I will sail through life - Smiling!

Words Unsaid

As the breeze tangles in your hair,
and moon shines over your face,
the heart skips a beat,
with a melody as this. 

As the eyes that stare lock in mine,
The moon then ceases to shine,
A breeze blows through her hair,
All you wanna do is stare. 

The voice that's a sane therapy,
Spoken like a rehearsed melody,
Giggles that effortlessly lighten up,
The saddest face, that's filled a tear cup.

A slight attempt to tell her a word,
A heart beat to have her heard,
I write this poem for a little stir,
Make believe that I love her.

A face I long to see,
A voice I love to hear,
A moment of being together,
That I'd die for her..

~ Mr. Khan.

Smile

In the shimmering light of the stars,

and the dance of cloudy sky,

A smile grows bright, eclipsing,

that lonely moon, in all its might.  

As the feet set in motion, the lips;

they talk a story, of life and beyond,

as the waiting eyes still at a moment,

the time begins to lose its pace.

In the chaos that surrounds, a giggle,

A smile, a cheer, it silences it all.

the eyes that add to her enigma,

the fierce self that clouds ‘her’.

A distant dream that the eyes see,

that fire blazing to reach there,

A hidden self, in lotus petals,

unwraps in lilt on a stone bench.

In all her might, she lives, and loves,

and as the nights grow, fleeing sight,

She disappears in the abyss,

leaving her smile behind.  

~ Mr. Khan.
 

My Theory of Love!

I carry a lot of masks on me day in and day out. I hear people say things about me, mostly good. Too many terms associated with my personality, I’m not gonna talk about a bit of anything that is my superficial mask. I am called intelligent, rational, leader, all those big fancy names everyone wants to hear, but deep down, in the unseen side of me lives a hopeless romantic. I might be exposing a very delicate side of me here, but then, I had promised to write this post to myself a long while back.

As an individual, from the time we grow, understand things, from the very time we come out in the world, we start recognizing people. Ever saw a kid smile at a known face? That. We all develop our own versions of the meaning of love. The way we have experienced love, or not. It’s a highly complicated yet a very simple feeling. Have heard of unconditional love ever? No? Have you ever been with your family or friends, every day of your life, no matter how much you think you hate them? That my friend, is unconditional love. Most of us try to give a hundred different reasons to why they love a particular person, to that I wonder, why not love just for the bloody sake of it? Love because you love to love! 

Might sound a bit weird, but let us see where these words take us. The feeling of love has always surprised me. From the point I ‘loved’ my grandpa dropping me to the bus stop to the point of looking at this someone, where I forget to breathe. I’ve had women in my very tiny lived life, I have women around me now, but taking a dive into that abyss, it’s scary that ever. The base of every relationship I believe is being able to spend time with the person, making them feel wanted for. I do respect that highly. Yet, I fail to do that. 

To be with someone, to belong, and love them, might be the most beautiful feeling ever. But if you can’t match to the tiniest of expectations springing up from this togetherness, it is better off. I would say that is the answer to the question I face often, Why are you single? So dear reader, when I know in the current phase of life, when it is difficult to make time even for lunch, how can I commit a part of life to someone? (Unless, the person can understand this part of life.) So that’s my concise theory. Maybe say just a postulate.    

More to this topic coming soon.