Fall. Rise. Grow.

It was year 2010. I was enjoying being involved in a robotics company; working part time for them. Being called the Robotics guy in my circle was the best thing that could happen to me. I was winning several paper presentations, a new kind of high had gripped me. It was beyond ordinary. But life had a completely different story etched for me. It was not so nice.

The summer of 2010 was the worst one for me. It was the time I faced a huge blow academically. I failed. Lost an year in college. The world had come tumbling down for me. I was hit to the core, broken, depressed, all bad stuff. I was at the rock bottom of my self-esteem covered in guilt and negativity.

At one instance I was driving back home and in those very depressed thoughts, I had a head on collision with a car on a red light. That accident shook me; luckily I escaped unhurt, crying, and it helped me get my mind straight. One big bump later I came to realize the fact that the world wasn’t over. There is still hope, and there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel.

That incident gave me a direction in life — UP! I knew I didn’t want to be called a failure; so I didn’t act like one. We all fall in such instances where there is a bleak ray of hope, where it all seems meaningless. It truly depends which way you face that failure. Do you curl yourself in a shell or do you face it with a brave heart?

The worst of all times will come, but the trees which survive storms are the ones which survive. So, next time you hit rock bottom, stand up, face that damn thing, Rise. That is when you will grow in life; truly.

Until next time; I’m Batman.

24 and Schrödinger's Cat

This is a well delayed birthday post if you want to consider it so. Also thinking to move the blog to some other platform. Suggestions? So here it goes. I did turn 24 recently. It was an earthquake in life. I still feel like I was just 18 yesterday. Life’s accelerated too fast. Coming to a junction when some important decisions need to be taken care of.  

  

Being 24 is scary. There are major, life changing decisions to take care of. Being an entrepreneur for the past 3 years has fucked up life real bad. I'm tired of the this shit. I'm tired of being the one people look up to. Its exhausting.

There is a major push from the family to find a settled life. While everyone around is growing, I feel stuck up in one place. Maybe its just my frame of relative thoughts, from a different frame of reference, it might be the life to die for. When I look at myself when I'm around a bunch of people, its a celebrity feeling. My name precedes my presence. Its an amazing feeling. The life on stage is something people crave for. But to tell you the reality, its an emotional, mental, physical roller coaster ride. It has its several negative aspects which I don't want to get started with. 

I believe in myself. That's my strongest suit. I don't possess any special talents or skills, somehow things just worked out for me. That's the part I live about life - Uncertainty. Its impossible to predict the future, as one single tiny event can change the course entirely. Life is awesome - if you let it be so. One of the reasons there is a positive aura around me is I've been through several failures, and I'm not afraid anymore. I know I will rise no matter how deep I fall.

Talking about Schrödinger's Cat - one thing I've witnessed is we hesitate to take a risk, we try to calculate every step. But eventually, unless you step in to a situation, you are a winner and a loser both. The only way to test it is to be there. It will cost time, money, and a few resources too. Let's stay on the hopeful side and take a chance. Take that plunge. 

Being 24 means you gotta be earning at least bronze if not gold. If you carry that entrepreneur tag means you gotta be the next Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs. I'm not saying its not possible, but why imitate let's be %firstname% %lastname% - You! I'm on my path, a lot of thorns in the way but another thing I believe in - This too shall pass. 

Oh and I forgot Love! If you are a woman, would you love to be seen with a person who is 24 and still figuring out life? I've got a deep dark path ahead of me which will unfold as I step into it. The success rate is a mere 10%. I'm a workaholic and hardly have time forfamily. In a world where success is measured by money and fame, its hard to find someone who looks deeper. 

The biggest question everyone around me is facing is called - What's next? Well I don't know and I'm pretty sure even you don't have a bloddy idea. I'm a person who tends to enjoy the current and let the next take care of itself. Who is it going to listen to anyway?

The Bible quotes; "I have plans to prosper you not to harm or destroy but give a hope and a future, says The Lord." I'm a believer, and several testimonials to back this. I know I will sail through life - Smiling!

Words Unsaid

As the breeze tangles in your hair,
and moon shines over your face,
the heart skips a beat,
with a melody as this. 

As the eyes that stare lock in mine,
The moon then ceases to shine,
A breeze blows through her hair,
All you wanna do is stare. 

The voice that's a sane therapy,
Spoken like a rehearsed melody,
Giggles that effortlessly lighten up,
The saddest face, that's filled a tear cup.

A slight attempt to tell her a word,
A heart beat to have her heard,
I write this poem for a little stir,
Make believe that I love her.

A face I long to see,
A voice I love to hear,
A moment of being together,
That I'd die for her..

~ Mr. Khan.

Smile

In the shimmering light of the stars,

and the dance of cloudy sky,

A smile grows bright, eclipsing,

that lonely moon, in all its might.  

As the feet set in motion, the lips;

they talk a story, of life and beyond,

as the waiting eyes still at a moment,

the time begins to lose its pace.

In the chaos that surrounds, a giggle,

A smile, a cheer, it silences it all.

the eyes that add to her enigma,

the fierce self that clouds ‘her’.

A distant dream that the eyes see,

that fire blazing to reach there,

A hidden self, in lotus petals,

unwraps in lilt on a stone bench.

In all her might, she lives, and loves,

and as the nights grow, fleeing sight,

She disappears in the abyss,

leaving her smile behind.  

~ Mr. Khan.